Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

I love my boyfriend, but I think something's wrong.

He is by far the hairiest man I've ever met. I'll admit that I think long hair can be sexy on a man. But, every time he combs his hair, he leaves enough hair behind to make a weave. Shaving appears to be useless since he has five o'clock shadow by 10am. So, him rocking a bald head is out of the question.

Within a week of our first date, he replaced all my silver and turquoise jewelry with gold. He said he was allergic and the silver was making him blister. Every time we go out to dinner, he always orders his steak so rare you can almost hear it moo. Which is fine for him, but I'm a vegetarian and just seeing all that bloody meat makes me want to hurl.

Now, believe it or not, I can live with all of that. He's a super nice guy, a passionate lover and makes me feel special. But my cat Fluffy has been missing for a week now and I found her collar in his pocket. Adam, is it possible my boyfriend's a werewolf and if so, what do I do?

Howling For Love

Dear Howling for Love,

I would say your boyfriend is definitely a wolf. But you have little to fear. Some of my best friends are wolves. Though they cannot compare with a vamp when it comes to helping a woman get her groove on they are no slouches in that department. Another added benefit: they neither need nor require your blood, and given that there's only a few days out of each months when it's hard for them to control their nature it should make for an interesting relationship. Hopefully you have a strong heart, on the off chance your boyfriend goes into a shift while with you. I don't know about you but I find it hard dealing with Eve when she goes through her normal changes. Throw a shift in there and I'd have to slap her out of it. Love or not I'd have to do it. But for now I'd say throw your head back and howl on.

Adam Omega


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