Sunday, April 27, 2008

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

My friends are calling me crazy because I tell them I'm madly in love with you, a vampire. I've been unable to sleep, eat, or even work. You said that we may ask you for advise. Please help me. I need a job but find that thinking of you takes up all of my time. Please, Adam, what can I do?

Need to work

Dear Need to Work,

You are not crazy to adore me. You are to be considered evolved and will receive special blessings. Never has answering the requests of a mortal been so incredibly easy. With all that you've told me I decree that you're not nuts. AS to the question of what can you do, here is your answer: You're a writer. Now go, and write, with my blessings.

Adam Omega Vampire,

The Anointed One

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

What are your plans for when your human helper goes to her convention? Are you going along to make sure she doesn't get into trouble? Meet and greet your admirers?


Dear Debbie,

At the moment I am not in your century but because of who I am, I still maintain the ability to communicate with you. My human helper has begged me to attend this dratted conference and I might put in an appearance however brief. Should you feel lips pressing aganist your neck or the flight press of fang know that it is I Adam Omega and do not fear. My taking a sip of your blood will be my gift to you. If I'm not bored to death (no pun intended) I might even ask you to dance. Look for me. I'll be there.

Adam Omega


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

Oh vanity thou name is Adam. After your most recent diary entry, I must say, Adam, I’m amazed at the eloquent fullness of which you express of yourself. I would never cast stones if I where to hear you give a sermon. If you must spread the good word, or the gospel according to Adam Omega, then by all means preach on dear Adam. I will applaud you day and night, yea will I applaud thee

Amen Corner

Dear Amen Corner,

What you call vanity I call truth. But fear not for I will not reprimand you. Eve use those very words to enrage me on a daily basis. But it does not. It merely makes me smile. I love that you think me vain. It gives me great joy. As for your seeming to give me permission to give a sermon, that is so presumption of you that your life has thus been spared for the present time. I do not need the permission of mortals for whatever things I might chose to do.

God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, Genesis 1:20

I am Adam Omega and my life began with the first breath and will continue until the last. I have dominion over you, your life and the earth. I will certainly preach the gospel according to Adam and he who has ears to hear will hear.

Adam Omega

Vampire Priest

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

Am I to understand that you have been MIA. Really, I wondered why you hadn't answered any of my desperate pleadings. Mr. Omega, not sure if your aware of this but I have no life other than when you visit me. I spend each of my waking hours pining for you. Granted our infrequent encounters have been physically stimulating. I do not delude myself into believing that it could lead to anything. Nor do I delude myself into assuming that you've missed me.

I must however take issue with the notion you think that I, a mere mortal, could cause your beloved witch harm. Oh, please I wouldn’t touch her to scratch her. Your dear Eve has nothing to fear my me, for now.


Dear Missy,

The first thing I see that I need to do is to put you in check. Do not for a moment feel that because I have allowed you to perform certain tasks when I had nothing better to do that I will not snap your neck before you take your next breath.

For the record mortal, the witch of whom you speak is my wife. You will address her as such or the next time you're on your knees you will not find the task so pleasant. Better yet, let me be perfectly clear on this. Do not speak her name, do not think her name, draw your next breath and wonder if it will be your last.

Adam Omega,

Eve's husband

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

Were you not an immortal Vampire but a normal man instead, what career would you choose and why?

Career-Minded Cathy

Dear Career-Minded Cathy,

The answer to your question is an easy one. Were I not Adam Omega Vampire, make that Grand Master Vampire. And if I were not immortal and in need of a career there would be only one career path that would suit me. I would choose that of Adam Omega Grand Master Vampire. The why of it? Isn't it obvious?

Adam Omega

Grand Master Vampire