My friends are calling me crazy because I tell them I'm madly in love with you, a vampire. I've been unable to sleep, eat, or even work. You said that we may ask you for advise. Please help me. I need a job but find that thinking of you takes up all of my time. Please, Adam, what can I do?
Need to work
Dear Need to Work,
You are not crazy to adore me. You are to be considered evolved and will receive special blessings. Never has answering the requests of a mortal been so incredibly easy. With all that you've told me I decree that you're not nuts. AS to the question of what can you do, here is your answer: You're a writer. Now go, and write, with my blessings.
Adam Omega Vampire,
The Anointed One