Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

How did you get to be SO SEXY?



Sexy Siren










My Dear Sexy Siren,

I can say in all honesty that it is a woman who makes a man sexy. I do not offer thanks for your words of truth but I will praise you for your ability to recognize and state truth.

Adam Omega


Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

The world isn't like it was when I was a child and I think that today's children are running amuck. But unlike when I was a child, most parents today don't seem to believe in spanking when a child gets completely out of hand. Where do you stand when it comes to punishing an unruly child. Do you believe in spanking or time-outs? What type of behavior do you feel warrants what type of punishment.




To Spank or Not To Spank
(that is the question)













Dear To Spank or Not To Spank

First I will address the part of your question that interest me the most. "When they get out of hand." Therein lies the problem. Children should be dealt with from the moment they first draw breath. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I believe mortals have applied the wrong thinking to verse. It does not mean to not spank and spoil children by giving into their silly demands. It means if you do not spank them you will spoil them and they will grow into obnoxious little brats that even their parents cannot tolerate but will lie and try to defend their bad behavior. Then these little ruffians will grow into adulthood and inflict their bad behavior on the world at large. When that time comes and they dare come near my playground I will give them what their mama and daddies didn't. But then it will be too late for I do not give warnings or that nonsense TIME OUT!! What the hell is that all about? When I meet your little mortal darlings I will give them a time out alright...a permanent time out. My suggestion to mortal parents: DO YOUR JOB SO I WON'T HAVE TO.

Now to the second part of your question. A child can and should be trained. And do not dare to take umbrage with my words. The Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is true.

I am not an advocate of beating children, quite the opposite. As I said, from the moment a child is born you should train him/her. First with your voice. The inflections will relay to the child your seriousness. Do not give ridiculous punishments that you have no plans to carry out. And time out, please ask a child if it works.

When to spank depends on the age of the child as do how hard to spank and the where. A spanking should never leave a child with marks. That takes it to a beating and that's where I come in. You beat a child and I find out and you will receive trice what you gave.

From birth to 2 years of age a firm NO should do. From 2-4yrs of age hold the child firmly so that he can see your eyes and speak firmly. At this age a warning of a spanking is necessary. If the child continues behavior that you have warned him of then a spanking that was promised should be given. One swat on the behind should be sufficient. A reminder that this was promised should also be given. 5-8 years of age. If you have done the previous years properly a look should be all that is needed.

One bit of advise: Never hit a child to teach him or her not to hit. A bit ironic don't you think?

From 9-18 tell them of me and that I wait for them to reach the age of majority and that I do not love them. If that doesn't scare them straight then I am what they need and what they will get. I hope that answers your questions.

Of course you're aware that my advice pertains only to mortal children. I killed my unruly offspring.


Adam Omega


Vampire

Dear Adam

Since Eyanna had bled on the amulet that she had given you, would Eve be able to use that with her crystals to make both of you mortal again? What is your biggest fear? Is it that Eve had the power to destroy you, or that you had already destroyed her soul?
I had tried to post this question on the blog page but was unsuccessful.

Amanda Ortega





My Dear Amanda Ortega,

First I must commend you for your brilliant questions. As to why you were unable to post on my blog. I have no wish for mortals to comment on my words. I am the last authority so I disabled that function. Oftentimes I tend to go into a rage and kill before I think. This not allowing mortals the freedom to comment is strictly for their safety.

Now as to your questions: Know this, F. D. Davis has decided to belabor the point and take twelve books to tell my story but let me see if I can answer your questions honestly without giving away too much.

As to whether or not Eve will be able to use her potions to turn the both of us human only time will tell. I have no such wish to return to my mortal state. But of course we both know that Eve is a stubborn woman. Now that she's remembering her own powers given to her by nature she no longer fears being called a witch. Add that to her dislike of this lifestyle and who knows what she might attempt. But my dear much to Eve's chagrin there is no cure for Vampirism. I am Immortal. I am Adam Omega

Again, I must say for a mortal you are indeed quick of mind. Which is my greatest fear? This I answer honestly for they are both true. I fear what I've done to Eve as much as I fear that she has the power to destroy me. I sometimes wonder what will happen when she realizes that. Will I do what I don't want and destroy her? To that I can not tell you. I do not know until that time comes. I do hope this answers your questions sufficiently. If not please rephrase and resubmit.


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

I will admit that I didn't pray about that demon last night. I was hoping it wasn't true. But you know what? It got worse last night!!!! I did like you said and stopped wearing the Depends. But when I went to bed, I remembered what you said, that if it started again, I could just pray about it and you would come and handle it....and uhhh, possibly me. Anyway, not to take up too much more of your time, last night when the bumping and moaning started again, I jammed my pillow over my head and went to sleep. It worked for a little while. But then the moans got louder and the bumping got harder. AND THEN IT STARTED ASKING ME QUESTIONS!!!! I was so scared I honestly didn't know what to do. It started saying, "WHOSE IS IT?" "YOU HEARD ME, WHOSE IS IT, GIRL?" It was then that I knew what I had to do. I threw my pillow across the room and screamed back, "IT'S ADAM'S!!!" Well, after that I got quiet for a little bit...until it started crying softly. Then I heard the door slam and I was able to go to sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night. I would ask the neighbor next door about it. But she looked kind of tired. I wonder if it kept her up too last night?


Scaredy-Kat



Dear Scaredy-Kat,

Or should I now call you, MY DEAR WISE ONE. I was there with you and decided that you needed to know to whom you belong on your own. You had the Adam given power inside of you. I want you to know you were never in danger. I was there commanding the demon. It was I who told the demon to question you.

Did you not feel my gentle breath across your body? Were you not heated by my touch? did you not show courage in the face of the unknown? Yes, my dear one it was I.

May I give you a word about the nature of prayer. It is not the prayers you mortals mutter with your lips that are heard and answered but the ones you send with your heart. You did pray my dear one and I did as I said and intercepted your prayer and came to your rescue.

You may rest easy now knowing that "IT" and you belong to me.


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. But, if you're not that "the thing" that's going bump in the night....and I'm not calling you a thing. I'm just using the term loosely....Then what is?

I've asked my neighbors next door if they hear it when they go to bed at night since they share the duplex next door and our bedrooms are next to each other. But they keep giving me that same stupid look that the pharmacist gave me. Oh...and thank you on that front. I'll be sure to stop in and buy a few things so he can chat me up and ask me out. I didn't really USE the Depends. I just wore them "in case." But if that noise isn't you...then what is it and can you make it stop? Last night, it was moaning each time it bumped. I think it hurt itself.

Super Scaredy-Kat





Dear Super Scaredy-Kat,

I'm going to tell you what the real "THING" is. It will make you more afraid but I will protect you if you wish it. The "THING" of which you speak is a demon. I have dominion over demons and I can make it vanish. But as with everything I have rules. You must ask. You must pray and allow me to intercept your prayers. Then leave it all in my hands. After that prepare yourself for me.

I must say I am overjoyed that you have not chosen to wear those offending plastic bloomers. They do not become one with beauty such as yours.


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Good morning Scaredy-Kat,


I have been forced by circumstances to do something that I rarely do. I wish to give you sort of an apology. You are of course aware of that moronic human helper, F.D. Davis. Well it appears she has once again overstepped her bounds. The chit thinks she can now speak for me in my absence and that she knows how I will respond. WEll, she doesn't. No one knows how I will respond, not even me. Suffice it to say the mortal has been dealt with severely. This time not even Eve was unable to dissuade me from meting out well deserved justice.


Now that that's settled we will deal with your question. The human was correct on one score. Do not in your mortal lifetime ever again refer to me as a thing. I forgive human errors once, no more.

Now as for something that you fear and your lying the blame at my doorsteps: If I am near this is what you will feel. Remember this for the future. First you will feel a warm breeze cares your face and you will pause thinking it couldn't be. Then you will feel it again and hear a whisper in your ear a gentle greeting. You will become hot, flushed your skin will tingle and you will begin to moan for me calling out, please. you will claw the sheet and beg even harder.

As for that depend you're wearing you will rip it off in preparation. If you desire me you must get rid of those horrid things. You are aware that I am extremely fastidious. Ask Eve, the love of my life what punishment I gave to her for appearing to me soiled.

I paid a visit to that mortal pharmacist. He is now in an agreeable mood to meet with you. This is what you must do: go to another store to buy your depends then your mortal friend will not know of your deficiency. That is simple enough. Why could that mortal F.D. Davis not have advised you thusly? She is a moron that's why. And don't forget I am the interceptor of prayers. Pray and I will answer. I will relief you of your affliction. Now that you know how your body will react concerning me I hope you will deal with the other little embarrassing problem. Should you require my assistance just pray and I will answer.


Adam Omega

VAmpire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

Are you that thing that goes bump in the night? I'm so scared when the lights go off that I refuse to get out of bed for any reason including...you know. I've been avoiding bedtime sips of water whenever possible and "holding it" whenever necessary. I don't want to have to wear Depends all my life. The pharmacist who I think's really cute and had hoped would ask me out, asked me recently if I worked with the Aged when I bought yet another case of Depends. When I told him I was a teacher, he looked at me super funny.The look in his eye pure killed any hopes I ever had of him asking me out. So, if you're that "thing that goes bump in the night, will you stop it....please?




Scaredy-Kat





Dear Scaredy- kat

First off I resent being called a thing. I must ask you if you're PISSING on yourself at night. If you are you need to stop and throw those damn Depends away. Why would the pharmacist want you? I don't want you either. I like blood not piss.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

What is a super sexy vamp like you planning to do on Valentine's Day?




Valentina






Dear Valentina,

Normally I wouldn't answer this question. I would just tell you that it's none of your business what I plan to do. But since you called me sexy I have decided this once to play nice.

First I have no need for mortal niceties but for some strange reason Eve gave me a wistful look. The woman just refuses to act like a proper vampire so I have decided to indulge her. I mean I am not totally unfeeling. I do love the woman.

So our plans. First I will bring a couple of bottles of my finest blood from the freezer and allow it to come to room temperature then I will lay Eve on a bed of rose petals. I will give her passion bites starting at her beautiful ear lobe and I will suckle it lavishing it with my love. Then I will move down to that spot above her shoulder and I will place gentle bites along the ridge. Well maybe not so gently. I will caress her as I move along her body sensing her flow and I will places kisses over every inch of her skin not leaving a spot untouched. I will bury my head in her most private place and I will love her like no other.

Then when we are both sated I will wake.


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,


I've noticed that a cross appears besides your answers. Is that a reason for it?

What's up?







Dear What's up,

As with everything that I do of course there is an answer. Whether or not I will tell you is another thing. You appear arrogant to me. I almost sense a demanding attitude, a tone that does not speak of reverence.

And there you have it. The cross is a reminder for all who enter my domain to remember who and what I am, to revere me, to respect my home. Most of all it serves as a warning. Know who I am. I am Adam Omega, Vampire! I take no crap. The cross belongs to me and I wear it proudly.


ADAM OMEGA

VAMPIRE

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,


I've been reading your column and I wanted to leave a comment. I tried and couldn't. Is there something wrong, some glitch?


Want to comment.













Dear Want to comment,


No there is no glitch. Why should I allow mortals to comment on what I've written? MY words should be enough for you. Is it not?


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam,

He knows. My husband knows you visit me nightly in my dreams. I was so careful, but it became impossible to hide the satisfied smile on my face each morning when I awake or explain away the bite marks. Please, for my sake do not visit me again, release me from this spell, you've put me under. I can no longer lay in his arms while thoughts of you consume me, pretending that his touch does not repulse me.

You must release me dear Adam, for I know your cold undead heart belongs to another and will never be mine.

Dream Lover









Dear Dream Lover,

While it is true my heart does belongs to another when I lay claim to a being they remain mine. I cannot in good conscience release you but I will give you a fortnight of rest, to miss me. to beg me to return.

But the most important part of your letter refers to your husband knowing. Do you think that I Adam Omega fear him? Do you fear for your own safety? If either of these things are true then maybe it is time that I paid your husband a visit. I would have him begging me to take you and him if I wanted this. But I do not. Fear not My Dream Lover, all is well. Call for me when your need crests.


Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

Dear Adam.

2. What's up with men and oral sex.

Why do men rather eat then to serve up the good stick? And just in case you are wondering. I love head just as much as the next woman but I love the ride more.


Missing the stick









Dear Missing the stick.


The question you ask has a simply answer. It's not that the male doesn't want to give up the good stick as you put it but rather about the male. We are my dear selfish creatures by nature. Having a female perform fellatio on us, or oral sex as you will, satisfy many needs for the male. First off: It gives us control over the giver, it puts the female in a position of servitude and we rather like that. But the main reason is that we need pay no heed to the attention of the female body that is servicing us as she gives us pleasure in this manner. It is all about us. And I'm not sorry to say that is the way we like it. None of this cuddling nonsense or waiting for the woman to reach the peak. No this is all about us, our needs, what we want. That's it. I told you it was simple. We males prefer oral sex because it satisfy our selfish nature. We can take and take and not worry about giving anything in return. There is no bonding, no emotional ties. WE simply accept that which you give. If you do not like giving or receiving this then my advice would be not to participate in it.

There is a difference in having this done by a person that you are not only intimately involved with but emotionally involves with as well. Then the act of giving or receiving becomes one of the most intense pleasures. To taste your lover on your tongue, to make her juices flow, or his, is the pentacle of love. if you love the person that you're with and they love you the act will be both satisfying and meaningful. If not it will be what it is most of the times. A way for one to reach sexual pleasure without giving of one's soul. I indulge often but only with Eve does it have any true meaning.


Now as to men who'd rather eat, I'd say it's either of two things: pure laziness on the part of the male to satisfy a woman who might take a long time to achieve satisfaction. Or the male does not really want to pleasure the woman he's with so he does what will achieve the goal at a faster pace. If you want the stick, then my advice would be to caress your partner with your fingers, hold him between your thighs and his erection should move of it's own accord to the desired location. Then you will have THE STICK!

And, Missing The Stick, if you follow my advice and find yourself in need of more, please contact me again. Vampires are known for giving, 'THE STICK,' and for our endurance. I have many under my command who will gladly give you what you need.



Adam Omega


Vampire