Friday, February 15, 2008

Dear Adam

Good morning Scaredy-Kat,

I have been forced by circumstances to do something that I rarely do. I wish to give you sort of an apology. You are of course aware of that moronic human helper, F.D. Davis. Well it appears she has once again overstepped her bounds. The chit thinks she can now speak for me in my absence and that she knows how I will respond. WEll, she doesn't. No one knows how I will respond, not even me. Suffice it to say the mortal has been dealt with severely. This time not even Eve was unable to dissuade me from meting out well deserved justice.

Now that that's settled we will deal with your question. The human was correct on one score. Do not in your mortal lifetime ever again refer to me as a thing. I forgive human errors once, no more.

Now as for something that you fear and your lying the blame at my doorsteps: If I am near this is what you will feel. Remember this for the future. First you will feel a warm breeze cares your face and you will pause thinking it couldn't be. Then you will feel it again and hear a whisper in your ear a gentle greeting. You will become hot, flushed your skin will tingle and you will begin to moan for me calling out, please. you will claw the sheet and beg even harder.

As for that depend you're wearing you will rip it off in preparation. If you desire me you must get rid of those horrid things. You are aware that I am extremely fastidious. Ask Eve, the love of my life what punishment I gave to her for appearing to me soiled.

I paid a visit to that mortal pharmacist. He is now in an agreeable mood to meet with you. This is what you must do: go to another store to buy your depends then your mortal friend will not know of your deficiency. That is simple enough. Why could that mortal F.D. Davis not have advised you thusly? She is a moron that's why. And don't forget I am the interceptor of prayers. Pray and I will answer. I will relief you of your affliction. Now that you know how your body will react concerning me I hope you will deal with the other little embarrassing problem. Should you require my assistance just pray and I will answer.

Adam Omega


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