Thank you so much for your kind reply. But, if you're not that "the thing" that's going bump in the night....and I'm not calling you a thing. I'm just using the term loosely....Then what is?
I've asked my neighbors next door if they hear it when they go to bed at night since they share the duplex next door and our bedrooms are next to each other. But they keep giving me that same stupid look that the pharmacist gave me. Oh...and thank you on that front. I'll be sure to stop in and buy a few things so he can chat me up and ask me out. I didn't really USE the Depends. I just wore them "in case." But if that noise isn't you...then what is it and can you make it stop? Last night, it was moaning each time it bumped. I think it hurt itself.
Dear Super Scaredy-Kat,
I'm going to tell you what the real "THING" is. It will make you more afraid but I will protect you if you wish it. The "THING" of which you speak is a demon. I have dominion over demons and I can make it vanish. But as with everything I have rules. You must ask. You must pray and allow me to intercept your prayers. Then leave it all in my hands. After that prepare yourself for me.
I must say I am overjoyed that you have not chosen to wear those offending plastic bloomers. They do not become one with beauty such as yours.