ASK ADAM

Dear Adam

2010-05-06T10:07:00.001-07:00

Mr. Omega,

First off I have to tell you that I do believe in vampires. I don't think they're a myth or come from the creative minds of fiction writers. With that being said I'd like to ask where I can go to meet one. Asking to meet you would be asking too much I know but if you could direct me to another I would be most grateful.

Needing a change

My Dear Needing a Change,

Think carefully before you ask for the change we both know you're asking for. By the way subtlety does not work on me. Your hope that in asking for another that I would give you what you want will not be happening. To be frank, my decree to not turn mortals was a good one. It stands. So in answer to your question, seek for a vampire in your dreams. You will remain safe that way.

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2010-05-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam,

I have a question for you. How long will you tolerate Eve's insolence?

Curious.

Dear Curious,

I will tolerate Eve's insolence until I stop.

Adam Omega

Check out the new trailer

2010-03-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

2010-03-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

Finally,

The mortal F.D. Davis has done what I have ordered her to do for months now. The third book of my misadventures is now available at Amazon and elsewhere. I'd love to know your opinions on the ending.

Adam Omega

VAMPIRE

Ask Adam

2009-11-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

Mr. Omega,

Since when do you, Adam Omega, accept or even know the meaning of the word "No". Seriously, you expect me to believe that load of...come on tear the other leg off why don't you.

Adam, I this ask again, what's up with you. Where is the Adam I love to hate? The Adam that with one look sends shivers up and down my spine. Don't tell me Eve has finally got you whipped. Oh, say it ain't so, Adam.

Please, Adam, show us all your still the baddest Vamp around and raise some hell!!!

Mona V. Sho

Dear Mona V. Sho

Since you're asking. Eve has done nothing of the sort. As for why I did nothing to aid F. D. Davis in her illness the answer is simple. I didn't want to. Have I not said often enough that the mortal irritates me? So do mortals who dare to ask me why I haven't done something. Take care Mona or you may just find yourself dealing with more than a little flu bug.

Adam Omega

Supreme Vampire

Ask Adam

2009-11-02T03:30:00.000-08:00

For a super human being who professes to have control over the elements and the ability to bend one to his will. Why is it, Adam, you cannot cure the common cold.

She who wrote you into being is sick and one would think by now you would have cured her of her ailment.

So what's up with that, Adam!

Justen Akins

Dear Justen Akins,

Under normal circumstances I would not answer this as I find it more than a tad disrespectful. But today I am in a generous mood and will answer. F.D. Davis is a stubborn mortal and yes you're quite correct. I have been aware of her illness for the past ten days. I offered to help and she said, No thanks. it's no big deal I'll deal with it. So I decided to allow it. Because of your insolent tone I paid F.D. another visit. I can assure you she is much improved.

Now as to that other matter of her writing me into being. My Darling Mortal, I was always here.

Adam Omega Vampire

2009-06-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam,

It seems I may have vexed you once more. I meant no disrespect, nor was I by any means attempting to scold you. To be honest I was scolding the mortal that dared to compare you to a so so actor. I was trying to be on my best behavior by giving you the respect you so deserve. I humbly offer my apologies if you took offense at my simple observation.

I am however surprise you admit to being vain. Tell me, Adam, what else do you like to have stroked?

I do not believe you have done anything so horrid to F.D. Adam, though you pretend and other would like to believe you are truly evil, you are not the cold unfeeling blood sucker that you want us to think you are.

Oh, Adam, do you think me so naive as to believe you would do something so selfless without there being just the tiniest of strings attached. I wonder what Vulcan would have to say on the subject of you coming so conveniently to his rescue.

Not quite as disgusted now.

Dear Not Quite as Disgusted,

Apologies accepted. Please reread my comment to you. I did not admit to being vain. I said that Eve called me vain. Two different animals. As far as what I have or have not done to F. D. Davis do not for one nanosecond think you know what I will or will not do. As for the Demon, Vulcan has nothing to say but...Adam, Thank you for saving my behind. Each day I begin by wiping away his lip prints from my derriere. Was there an ulterior motive behind my saving of Vulcan? That also is none of your concern mortal.

Adam Omega,

The Annoyed

2009-06-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam

I must take issue with your response to that gushing mortal who compared you to George Clooney.

There is no mortal to which one could compare you, Mr. Omega. Why you found it flattering to be compared to a charming if not a so so actor, leaves me to wonder if indeed this Demon had gotten under your skin. And it really unnerves you to know that you may actually have some competition for F. D.'s attention.

As for what you heard, the F. D. I know would never speak such a thing as to tell one to go to such an infernal place. Of course she may have suggested he go home minutes before your expected arrival, which may or may not be hell. Depending how you look at it. But I digress.

Adam, admit it your starting to feel the heat and his name is Vulcan.

Disgusted

My Dear, dear Disgusted,

Once again I am touched by the emotions of mortals. While you reprimand the mortal who gave me praise you've all but accused me of dealing in vanity. You reminded me of a comment Eve once made to me. I said to her, "Vanity they name is woman. And she answered thus and said, "Vanity thy name is Adam."

Would it be a weakness to admit to enjoying the feeling from time to time of having one's ego stroked? Of course it would be. How then shall I tell you the reason for my response to the petitioner. I will begin in this manner. Are you familiar with the line that goes something like this: How shall I compare you to a rose? Thou are more lovely......

What you saw was surface. I saw beneath. For the mortal who queried me the actor was someone she admired greatly. And though she was keenly aware that none could truly compare to me her praise was genuine and respectful. My response was to that emotion, not the comparison.

You on the other hand seek to scold me and chastise me as though I were a mortal man, as though you'd forgotten your place. I'm aware of mortal failings, losing your mind and such, so I will forgive your transgression this once. If you're wise you will not attempt fate in such a manner again.

As for Vulcan, even as limited as being a mortal makes you I do not for one moment believe you seriously think I am concerned with F.D.'s affection for the creature. Least you forget, it was I who saved Vulcan, not the other way around.

As for F.D. perhaps she's bitten off more than she can adequately chew. Eve questioned me recently concerning her whereabouts. It would appear that she's gone missing. Some think I may have done away with her, at the very least that I have her hidden away someplace torturing her, drinking from her as though from my own private tap. Let me assure you that perhaps she deserves those things for putting doubts in the minds of mortal concerning my thoughts on a demon she's taken a fancy to. I have no need to harm the mortal.

But let's not forget, I do not always operate according to need.

ADAM Omega

Supreme Vampire, vanquisher of Demons and......

Ask Adam

2009-05-16T08:09:00.001-07:00

Dear Mr. Omega,

I've been thinking about your blog post from a couple weeks back. At first I didn't take it serious. After all, there's no way you would ever think that your legion of devoted fans would ever find a demon more interesting than you.

To compare you to Vulcan is a lot like comparing Brad Pitt to George Clooney.

The moment you see Brad you're awestruck by his mere presence. After all, he's very attractive. But then George enters the picture and not only is he attractive, he's got charm, wisdom and old Hollywood glamour while somehow managing to stay current and on the cutting edge.

Mr. Omega, if it doesn't insult you too much, you are very much like Mr. Clooney to me. Charming, wise...even when Eve doesn't want to admit it...and too sexy for words. Don't concern yourself with everyone's momentary fascination with Vulcan. He's barely a one hit wonder, while you...you're the inspiration for an entire series of books with a growing legion of fans.

Signed,

Hopelessly Devoted To You

Dear Hopelessly Devoted,

I have pondered how best to answer your most gracious letter. If I were a mortal man I would say it thrilled me. Had you said that George Clooney reminded you of me instead of the other way around I perhaps would have expressed joy over your words. Because you did not, I thought it only appropriate to allow you a few days before I answered.

I will however admit to my gratification over your knowledge that Vulcan is a one trick pony. Again, if I were mortal I would pass on the gossip. And the gossip would be that of late Vulcan has told F.D. Davis to go to HELL.

Adam Omega,

Amused.

2009-03-06T06:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Supreme Adam Omega,
speaking of music, I heard a song that I think will arouse Eve and open her
heart to your love. I want to know what you think about this music. Please
listen to Overture Within Temptation. I know you can find it because it floats
in the universe.

P.S." Davis was not impressed with my choice. What say you?

Minnie E

Dear Minnie,

I say that I loved your choice of music. You must remember that Davis and I are two entirely different entities. What more could you expect from her? She listens to country. I however applaud your superior taste and thank you for finding the music that calls to something in my soul. Take care and good looking out. By the way I do like the respectful tone of your question. A little sucking up never hurts to sway my opinion.

Adam Omega

Supreme Vampire

2009-03-02T08:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

A friend...Not Me...but a friend, is under the impression that you love country music. For whatever reason, she sees you rocking out to George Straight, Garth Brooks and Conway Twitty. There's nothing wrong with country music, but I can't really see you coming home from a long day of being the most powerful being on the planet and turning on Shania Twain.

What's in your I-pod, Mr. Omega? Please don't say Randy Travis!

Lyric

Dear Lyric,

Would it sound a bit trite if I told you that I listen to the Grateful Dead? Now I'm not saying if I do or if I don't but there is a possibility. I do enjoy music by several groups, The Undead, The Risen, The Lore, The vamps, The bloods, The Suckers, The Omeganish. They're all very good bands and we do share a certain something. As for country music. I shutter to think of it. It makes me cringe almost as much as Eve's caterwauling. F. D. however is a fan of such noise, but as far as I know from the ones you mentioned she only listens to Garth Brooks

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2009-02-16T03:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

I have a very serious question that I can't ask anyone else. They would think I'm crazy. I've been feeling a bit tired and some what weak for a few months now. I keep finding little marks between my thighs. The marks hurt when I touch them. I was wondering if you've been visiting me or perhaps another vampire. Mr. Omega, I'm really scared and I'm serious. Thank you for your help.

Scared of the dark

Dear Scared Of The Dark,

I took your letter seriously so I visited you last night. I checked your home thoroughly for the scent of a vampire. There was not a trace. But what I did find was blood beneath your fingernails. I'm afraid my dear that you have been injuring yourself while sleeping. I do hope this is good news for you. I had not believed a vampire to be the cause of your malady when first I read your letter. For you see most vampires prefer to do their dining a lot higher up. All the best to you mortal.

Adam Omega

Ask Adam

2008-11-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, is there anything that you're thankful for? And....you know I gotta ask...what are you having for Thanksgiving? Turkey, Ham or Beef?

Grateful

Dear Grateful,

In all seriousness I am grateful that mortals take one day out of the year to express their gratitude and to acknowledge a higher power. So, I am grateful to be one of the higher powers that mortal acknowledge. As to what I will be eating tomorrow, a more apt question would have been what to I plan to drink. I believe you already know my beverage of choice will be A negative.

This you may find a bit hard to beleive but the mortal helper has once again invited me to her home for a meal. Poor thing she does forget that I do not need a special man made date to feast. I do that every night but I'm sure with Eve and myself being the guests of honor all the foods that you mention will undoubtedly be served.

As soon as it will be considered polite to take our leave Eve and I will be leaving for Greece to pay Evan a visit, then of course ewe will go to my favorite place. Vatican City.

Since I have not mentioned Sullivan you may assume that he is no longer a bother.

Until next time, Happy Thanksgiving Grateful and all the rest of you mortals.

Namaste

Adam Omega

Ask Adam

2008-07-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam....

I know you're going to be surprised to hear this from me but, where are you?

I haven't had to walk cautiously into my bedroom at night and check every corner for your presence before going to sleep. And while I can't speak for others, I will say that I've missed your proclamations of superiority and world dominance. Have you gotten bored with us mere mortals and have decided to find your amusement elsewhere? If so, let us know. I'm sure there's a few of us that wouldn't mind knowing so we can turn out the lights at night.

Debbie

Dear Debbie,

When you least expect it..... Don't ask for things that you do not really want. Mortals bore me? Of course they do but they also provide me with much amusement and lets not forget they are a favorite entree of mine. I am happy to know that you've missed me.

Adam

Dear Adam

2008-05-27T04:15:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

You're always talking of killing Sullivan. But friend or foe, don't you think your existence would be rather dull if you had no Sullivan in your life? What will killing him accomplish anyway?

Inquiring Mind

Dear Inquiring Mind.

The question you posed is the same one I have posed to myself for many centuries. Sullivan vexes my spirit. He continues to live because of that vexation. None other has provided me with such exchange. You are correct that my existence would be rather boring without him around to try and prod me into changing. His disapproval of me gives me great joy and for now I am content.

Now listen closely for what I will tell yo is the reason why I rant and Sullivan yet lives. It's the uncertainty that gives me the most joy in my games with Sullivan. Neither of us are ever sure of my action, neither of us know when it will go from my ranting to my doing. It keeps Sullivan with the proper amount of fear and it keeps me amused devising more creative ways to dispose of my old friend.

Hopefully, Inquiring Mind, you will recognize the folly of your ways to question me on my reasons for doing or not doing a thing. For the moment I am in a pleasant enough mood that I decided to answer. An hour from now I might not have been and that might have put you in rather a painful state. Bare that in mind.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-05-27T04:06:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

I have had some time away to consider that I have not treated you with the respect and reverence you so richly deserve. Mr. Omega, it was not my intent to incite your constant wrath. It just happen to work out that way.

So, okay the point of this letter is to make clear to you that from this day forward I will no longer be the proverbial thorn in your side. You will not hear a another peep out of me. Now would you please remove the dark cloud from over my house and forgive me.

Contrite Mary

Dear Contrite Mary,

It pleases me that you have finally learned the error of your ways. Be that as it may the cloud as you call it will remain until I have a free moment. Are you of a notion that I Adam Omega wait around to do your bidding? Do you truly believe you have any effect on my life? You are but a mortal Mary, nothing more than a source of amusement to me. I will relieve your mind of one thing. Your death was never in my plans. What sport would it be to get rid of one so powerless? Continue to think GOOD thought of me and one day your worries will cease.

Adam Omega

Vampire

2008-05-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam,

It's prom season and I'm concerned that my daughter's boyfriend might try and pressure her into sex before she's ready. What can I do aside from purchasing a 9mm and a chastity belt and throwing the key into the nearest lake never to be seen again?

Worried Mama

Dear Worried Mama,

Have no fear. I have received a mental image of the lad and trust me when I tell you that he will not attempt to lay a finger or any other part of his anatomy on your daughter. But I hesitate to tell you that I also received a mental picture from you of your daughter, and find that it is she who has plans for the laying on of hands.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-04-27T03:21:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

My friends are calling me crazy because I tell them I'm madly in love with you, a vampire. I've been unable to sleep, eat, or even work. You said that we may ask you for advise. Please help me. I need a job but find that thinking of you takes up all of my time. Please, Adam, what can I do?

Need to work

Dear Need to Work,

You are not crazy to adore me. You are to be considered evolved and will receive special blessings. Never has answering the requests of a mortal been so incredibly easy. With all that you've told me I decree that you're not nuts. AS to the question of what can you do, here is your answer: You're a writer. Now go, and write, with my blessings.

Adam Omega Vampire,

The Anointed One

Dear Adam

2008-04-27T03:10:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

What are your plans for when your human helper goes to her convention? Are you going along to make sure she doesn't get into trouble? Meet and greet your admirers?

Debbie

Dear Debbie,

At the moment I am not in your century but because of who I am, I still maintain the ability to communicate with you. My human helper has begged me to attend this dratted conference and I might put in an appearance however brief. Should you feel lips pressing aganist your neck or the flight press of fang know that it is I Adam Omega and do not fear. My taking a sip of your blood will be my gift to you. If I'm not bored to death (no pun intended) I might even ask you to dance. Look for me. I'll be there.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-04-10T12:54:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

Oh vanity thou name is Adam. After your most recent diary entry, I must say, Adam, I’m amazed at the eloquent fullness of which you express of yourself. I would never cast stones if I where to hear you give a sermon. If you must spread the good word, or the gospel according to Adam Omega, then by all means preach on dear Adam. I will applaud you day and night, yea will I applaud thee

Amen Corner

Dear Amen Corner,

What you call vanity I call truth. But fear not for I will not reprimand you. Eve use those very words to enrage me on a daily basis. But it does not. It merely makes me smile. I love that you think me vain. It gives me great joy. As for your seeming to give me permission to give a sermon, that is so presumption of you that your life has thus been spared for the present time. I do not need the permission of mortals for whatever things I might chose to do.

God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, Genesis 1:20

I am Adam Omega and my life began with the first breath and will continue until the last. I have dominion over you, your life and the earth. I will certainly preach the gospel according to Adam and he who has ears to hear will hear.

Adam Omega

Vampire Priest

Dear Adam

2008-04-03T05:50:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

Am I to understand that you have been MIA. Really, I wondered why you hadn't answered any of my desperate pleadings. Mr. Omega, not sure if your aware of this but I have no life other than when you visit me. I spend each of my waking hours pining for you. Granted our infrequent encounters have been physically stimulating. I do not delude myself into believing that it could lead to anything. Nor do I delude myself into assuming that you've missed me.

I must however take issue with the notion you think that I, a mere mortal, could cause your beloved witch harm. Oh, please I wouldn’t touch her to scratch her. Your dear Eve has nothing to fear my me, for now.

Missy

Dear Missy,

The first thing I see that I need to do is to put you in check. Do not for a moment feel that because I have allowed you to perform certain tasks when I had nothing better to do that I will not snap your neck before you take your next breath.

For the record mortal, the witch of whom you speak is my wife. You will address her as such or the next time you're on your knees you will not find the task so pleasant. Better yet, let me be perfectly clear on this. Do not speak her name, do not think her name, draw your next breath and wonder if it will be your last.

Adam Omega,

Eve's husband

Dear Adam

2008-04-01T13:48:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

Were you not an immortal Vampire but a normal man instead, what career would you choose and why?

Career-Minded Cathy

Dear Career-Minded Cathy,

The answer to your question is an easy one. Were I not Adam Omega Vampire, make that Grand Master Vampire. And if I were not immortal and in need of a career there would be only one career path that would suit me. I would choose that of Adam Omega Grand Master Vampire. The why of it? Isn't it obvious?

Adam Omega

Grand Master Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-21T08:30:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

I am intrigued by you. I would love to invite you over to my house for a romantic, candlelit dinner. I would wear the sheerest of aprons -- red, of course. We could cuddle on the bearskin rug in front of my fireplace. And like the "bear"skin rug, my apron will also touch "bare"skin -- yours and mine. Hmm! Soft music. Dancing flames. And us.

Come on, baby, light my fire. I'll be waiting...armed with a steak, not a stake.

On Fire

Dear On Fire

Thank you for the dinner invitation. It all sounds nice. You left out one thing, what will you give me to drink?

Adam Omega,

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-19T04:53:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

I am aware that your wife is a witch and can understand your desire to become warlock. If you intend to remain the most powerful and oldest vampire then I agree, measures must be taken to counter act Eve's growing awareness of her powers and abilities.

Although I am not one to say I told you so, but if you had just let the little woman pass on into the after life and not turned her into a vampire, you wouldn't be having this problem. Maybe next time you'll think above the waist instead of below. Of course I'm not one to lay blame or judge. So please do not take this as a criticism, just an observation of the facts.

Shudano Betr

My Dear Shudano Betr,

You're very clever. Did you not think I wouldn't see through your handle? Shouda known better. Indeed!! Since you appear to be sympathetic to my plight I will not take this as criticism but will answer you. You are correct in one area and one area only. I should have been more aware of the changes I wrought when I turned Eve. No matter. I do intend to remain in my position of power. Eve will strike one day with her magic and I will have a surprise for her.

Now as for my allowing Eve to go to the after life. MORTAL!! Here me well. Do not speak ill of Eve, do not think it, do not breath it or your next breath will be your last. I give you that warning as a courtesy since you understand my new quest. Now be a good little mortal and do not cause me to have to turn that warning into reality.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-19T04:46:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

How DO you tell if your boyfriend's a vamp? Maybe he's just goth.

Signed,

Suspicious Sue

Dear Suspicious Sue,

If it's the manner of dress that you're speaking of and no other tell tell signs your boyfriend would more than likely fall into the pretender category. To you mortals I understand you consider that goth. There are many that wish to be vamped but most have enough finesse that you'd never know and wouldn't care.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-19T03:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Adam,

I love my boyfriend, but I think something's wrong.

He is by far the hairiest man I've ever met. I'll admit that I think long hair can be sexy on a man. But, every time he combs his hair, he leaves enough hair behind to make a weave. Shaving appears to be useless since he has five o'clock shadow by 10am. So, him rocking a bald head is out of the question.

Within a week of our first date, he replaced all my silver and turquoise jewelry with gold. He said he was allergic and the silver was making him blister. Every time we go out to dinner, he always orders his steak so rare you can almost hear it moo. Which is fine for him, but I'm a vegetarian and just seeing all that bloody meat makes me want to hurl.

Now, believe it or not, I can live with all of that. He's a super nice guy, a passionate lover and makes me feel special. But my cat Fluffy has been missing for a week now and I found her collar in his pocket. Adam, is it possible my boyfriend's a werewolf and if so, what do I do?

Signed,
Howling For Love

Dear Howling for Love,

I would say your boyfriend is definitely a wolf. But you have little to fear. Some of my best friends are wolves. Though they cannot compare with a vamp when it comes to helping a woman get her groove on they are no slouches in that department. Another added benefit: they neither need nor require your blood, and given that there's only a few days out of each months when it's hard for them to control their nature it should make for an interesting relationship. Hopefully you have a strong heart, on the off chance your boyfriend goes into a shift while with you. I don't know about you but I find it hard dealing with Eve when she goes through her normal changes. Throw a shift in there and I'd have to slap her out of it. Love or not I'd have to do it. But for now I'd say throw your head back and howl on.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-11T10:08:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

I read of your most recent desire to become a warlock. Whether I believe in warlocks and such is irrelevant. However, I wonder, is it really necessary for you to become the second most powerful being in creation? As it is, you're already the most powerful immortal walking planet Earth. Is this overload of power really necessary? And just so you don't show up at my home when least expected, the most powerful being is of course you, Adam Omega.

Besides, what's your plans for all of this power? Are you planning World Peace? To end poverty or hunger? The abuse of the weak and innocent?

Ethical Ethel

Dear Ethical Ethel,

What I wish to do with my increased powers is none of your concern. AS to who's the most powerful being, your comment was not to my liking so I edited your words. Besides, what you said is debatable. The need for more power is my business as I've stated. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I am absolute power incarnate.

And so it is written, the first man ADAM was made a living soul; the last ADAM was made a quickening spirit. 1st Cor. 15:45

Need I say more? I will however give you something to ponder. If Eve is becoming a vampiric witch should I not also do likewise?

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-10T05:07:00.001-07:00

Dear Adam,

Of course I believe in fairies. Oberon and Tatiana would have it no other way. They don't want everyone to know that they're real so they trust me to keep their secret. However, just know that I spend a solid 30 minutes daily clapping my hands just in case a fairy's on it's deathbed and needs rescuing.

Pepsodent Smile

Dear Pepsodent smile,

To use one of your mortal phrases: ROFLMBO. Thank you. One request: A small nick that brings blood to the surface would be welcomed by any vampire that might be in the area and in need of a quick snack.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-07T06:02:00.001-08:00

Dear Displeased Vampire,

Yes, I have lost my mind, I have finally come to my senses. I Beg you to forgive me, don't take your love away. I will be your most willing and humble servant for the remainder of my days. Please accept my apologies. I forgot that you are Adam Omega, Vampire. My mind is so filled with thoughts of you and my love so deep that I forgot my place. I promise if you will continue to visit me I will never forget again. As for that promise of pain the next time you visit. Sounds interesting.

So Crushed

My Dear So Crushed,

You have begged admirably and have been properly chastised. Though I received your letter a day ago I still felt that you needed more of a lesson. Your groveling however has given you a reprisal and your anticipation of the pain I will inflict on you interest me. There is hope for you yet mortal. Wait patiently and reverently for My return.

Adam Omega,

Somewhat appeased VAMPIRE!

Dear Adam

2008-03-04T10:18:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam

It's bad enough I have to share you with your beloved Eve. But now I find out that not only do you visit me in the wee hours of the night, you also have been seeing another. I thought it was my imagination when I smelled snack cake on your breath, but now I see it's that little @#$%.

Really, Adam how could you!! And where do find the energy?

Crushed

Dear Crushed,

Woman have you lost your DAMN mind? Who the hell do you think you're dealing with? You will never again attempt to tell me who to visit and when. You will have to beg me to return to your bed. If you know what's good for you you will find a way to appease me and do it quickly or else my next visit to you will not be filled with pleasure but pain.

As for where I get my energy; you have forgotten who I am haven't you? I am Adam Omega. Vampire. How could I, you ask. I can because I am Adam. Does that answer your question? I expect SINCERE GROVELING for your insolent behavior and I expect it immediately. You will never attempt to scold me again. I have been too lenient with you. That will soon change.

Adam Omega

Displeased Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-04T10:04:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

IS the tooth fairy really a vampire who's secretly defanging other vampires. I've heard that that's why she waits until everyone's asleep to take their teeth.

Pepsodent Smile

Dear Pepsodent Smile,

I want you to ponder the question that you asked me. Do you seriously believe in the tooth fairy? For now I will not tell you whether this being exist or not. There are more things in Heaven and Hell that man and woman has never dreamt of.

Now for the bigger issue: If there were one strong enough to defang vampires whom do you think it would be? If that being were a woman it could be none other than Eve for she has a modicum of my strength and she has my blood. But Eve remains too civilized to do such a thing. And I have no use to gather the fangs of vampires. I would yank them out because they piss me off or because I was bored and had nothing better to do. But here me and here me well I would never do the deed while a vamp slept. What would be the fun in that?

So back to my original question to you. Do you believe in faeries?

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-03-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

Why do you torment me so?

I do my best to show you the reverence due you. I tell you how sexy you are and tell others to fear you. Why must you torment me by coming to me in the wee small hours of the morning when I'm minding my business and need my rest?

Little Debbie

My Darling Little Debbie,

You misunderstand my love. I do not come to you to torment you but because I love you. True, it is not the love I have for Eve, but it is love nonetheless. Your blood has a quality that I admire. It is sweet yet there is fire in it. Besides, Little Debbie I come to you in the wee hours of the night becasue you call out to me. I hear you and I answer. As a matter of fact Eve heard your call and asked about you. I told her the truth that you give me what she will not.

Love,

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-27T04:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

How did you get to be SO SEXY?

Sexy Siren

My Dear Sexy Siren,

I can say in all honesty that it is a woman who makes a man sexy. I do not offer thanks for your words of truth but I will praise you for your ability to recognize and state truth.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-27T03:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

The world isn't like it was when I was a child and I think that today's children are running amuck. But unlike when I was a child, most parents today don't seem to believe in spanking when a child gets completely out of hand. Where do you stand when it comes to punishing an unruly child. Do you believe in spanking or time-outs? What type of behavior do you feel warrants what type of punishment.

To Spank or Not To Spank
(that is the question)

Dear To Spank or Not To Spank

First I will address the part of your question that interest me the most. "When they get out of hand." Therein lies the problem. Children should be dealt with from the moment they first draw breath. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I believe mortals have applied the wrong thinking to verse. It does not mean to not spank and spoil children by giving into their silly demands. It means if you do not spank them you will spoil them and they will grow into obnoxious little brats that even their parents cannot tolerate but will lie and try to defend their bad behavior. Then these little ruffians will grow into adulthood and inflict their bad behavior on the world at large. When that time comes and they dare come near my playground I will give them what their mama and daddies didn't. But then it will be too late for I do not give warnings or that nonsense TIME OUT!! What the hell is that all about? When I meet your little mortal darlings I will give them a time out alright...a permanent time out. My suggestion to mortal parents: DO YOUR JOB SO I WON'T HAVE TO.

Now to the second part of your question. A child can and should be trained. And do not dare to take umbrage with my words. The Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is true.

I am not an advocate of beating children, quite the opposite. As I said, from the moment a child is born you should train him/her. First with your voice. The inflections will relay to the child your seriousness. Do not give ridiculous punishments that you have no plans to carry out. And time out, please ask a child if it works.

When to spank depends on the age of the child as do how hard to spank and the where. A spanking should never leave a child with marks. That takes it to a beating and that's where I come in. You beat a child and I find out and you will receive trice what you gave.

From birth to 2 years of age a firm NO should do. From 2-4yrs of age hold the child firmly so that he can see your eyes and speak firmly. At this age a warning of a spanking is necessary. If the child continues behavior that you have warned him of then a spanking that was promised should be given. One swat on the behind should be sufficient. A reminder that this was promised should also be given. 5-8 years of age. If you have done the previous years properly a look should be all that is needed.

One bit of advise: Never hit a child to teach him or her not to hit. A bit ironic don't you think?

From 9-18 tell them of me and that I wait for them to reach the age of majority and that I do not love them. If that doesn't scare them straight then I am what they need and what they will get. I hope that answers your questions.

Of course you're aware that my advice pertains only to mortal children. I killed my unruly offspring.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

Since Eyanna had bled on the amulet that she had given you, would Eve be able to use that with her crystals to make both of you mortal again? What is your biggest fear? Is it that Eve had the power to destroy you, or that you had already destroyed her soul?
I had tried to post this question on the blog page but was unsuccessful.

Amanda Ortega

My Dear Amanda Ortega,

First I must commend you for your brilliant questions. As to why you were unable to post on my blog. I have no wish for mortals to comment on my words. I am the last authority so I disabled that function. Oftentimes I tend to go into a rage and kill before I think. This not allowing mortals the freedom to comment is strictly for their safety.

Now as to your questions: Know this, F. D. Davis has decided to belabor the point and take twelve books to tell my story but let me see if I can answer your questions honestly without giving away too much.

As to whether or not Eve will be able to use her potions to turn the both of us human only time will tell. I have no such wish to return to my mortal state. But of course we both know that Eve is a stubborn woman. Now that she's remembering her own powers given to her by nature she no longer fears being called a witch. Add that to her dislike of this lifestyle and who knows what she might attempt. But my dear much to Eve's chagrin there is no cure for Vampirism. I am Immortal. I am Adam Omega

Again, I must say for a mortal you are indeed quick of mind. Which is my greatest fear? This I answer honestly for they are both true. I fear what I've done to Eve as much as I fear that she has the power to destroy me. I sometimes wonder what will happen when she realizes that. Will I do what I don't want and destroy her? To that I can not tell you. I do not know until that time comes. I do hope this answers your questions sufficiently. If not please rephrase and resubmit.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-17T03:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

I will admit that I didn't pray about that demon last night. I was hoping it wasn't true. But you know what? It got worse last night!!!! I did like you said and stopped wearing the Depends. But when I went to bed, I remembered what you said, that if it started again, I could just pray about it and you would come and handle it....and uhhh, possibly me. Anyway, not to take up too much more of your time, last night when the bumping and moaning started again, I jammed my pillow over my head and went to sleep. It worked for a little while. But then the moans got louder and the bumping got harder. AND THEN IT STARTED ASKING ME QUESTIONS!!!! I was so scared I honestly didn't know what to do. It started saying, "WHOSE IS IT?" "YOU HEARD ME, WHOSE IS IT, GIRL?" It was then that I knew what I had to do. I threw my pillow across the room and screamed back, "IT'S ADAM'S!!!" Well, after that I got quiet for a little bit...until it started crying softly. Then I heard the door slam and I was able to go to sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night. I would ask the neighbor next door about it. But she looked kind of tired. I wonder if it kept her up too last night?

Scaredy-Kat

Dear Scaredy-Kat,

Or should I now call you, MY DEAR WISE ONE. I was there with you and decided that you needed to know to whom you belong on your own. You had the Adam given power inside of you. I want you to know you were never in danger. I was there commanding the demon. It was I who told the demon to question you.

Did you not feel my gentle breath across your body? Were you not heated by my touch? did you not show courage in the face of the unknown? Yes, my dear one it was I.

May I give you a word about the nature of prayer. It is not the prayers you mortals mutter with your lips that are heard and answered but the ones you send with your heart. You did pray my dear one and I did as I said and intercepted your prayer and came to your rescue.

You may rest easy now knowing that "IT" and you belong to me.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-15T09:56:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. But, if you're not that "the thing" that's going bump in the night....and I'm not calling you a thing. I'm just using the term loosely....Then what is?

I've asked my neighbors next door if they hear it when they go to bed at night since they share the duplex next door and our bedrooms are next to each other. But they keep giving me that same stupid look that the pharmacist gave me. Oh...and thank you on that front. I'll be sure to stop in and buy a few things so he can chat me up and ask me out. I didn't really USE the Depends. I just wore them "in case." But if that noise isn't you...then what is it and can you make it stop? Last night, it was moaning each time it bumped. I think it hurt itself.

Super Scaredy-Kat

Dear Super Scaredy-Kat,

I'm going to tell you what the real "THING" is. It will make you more afraid but I will protect you if you wish it. The "THING" of which you speak is a demon. I have dominion over demons and I can make it vanish. But as with everything I have rules. You must ask. You must pray and allow me to intercept your prayers. Then leave it all in my hands. After that prepare yourself for me.

I must say I am overjoyed that you have not chosen to wear those offending plastic bloomers. They do not become one with beauty such as yours.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-15T09:15:00.001-08:00

Good morning Scaredy-Kat,

I have been forced by circumstances to do something that I rarely do. I wish to give you sort of an apology. You are of course aware of that moronic human helper, F.D. Davis. Well it appears she has once again overstepped her bounds. The chit thinks she can now speak for me in my absence and that she knows how I will respond. WEll, she doesn't. No one knows how I will respond, not even me. Suffice it to say the mortal has been dealt with severely. This time not even Eve was unable to dissuade me from meting out well deserved justice.

Now that that's settled we will deal with your question. The human was correct on one score. Do not in your mortal lifetime ever again refer to me as a thing. I forgive human errors once, no more.

Now as for something that you fear and your lying the blame at my doorsteps: If I am near this is what you will feel. Remember this for the future. First you will feel a warm breeze cares your face and you will pause thinking it couldn't be. Then you will feel it again and hear a whisper in your ear a gentle greeting. You will become hot, flushed your skin will tingle and you will begin to moan for me calling out, please. you will claw the sheet and beg even harder.

As for that depend you're wearing you will rip it off in preparation. If you desire me you must get rid of those horrid things. You are aware that I am extremely fastidious. Ask Eve, the love of my life what punishment I gave to her for appearing to me soiled.

I paid a visit to that mortal pharmacist. He is now in an agreeable mood to meet with you. This is what you must do: go to another store to buy your depends then your mortal friend will not know of your deficiency. That is simple enough. Why could that mortal F.D. Davis not have advised you thusly? She is a moron that's why. And don't forget I am the interceptor of prayers. Pray and I will answer. I will relief you of your affliction. Now that you know how your body will react concerning me I hope you will deal with the other little embarrassing problem. Should you require my assistance just pray and I will answer.

Adam Omega

VAmpire

Dear Adam

2008-02-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

Are you that thing that goes bump in the night? I'm so scared when the lights go off that I refuse to get out of bed for any reason including...you know. I've been avoiding bedtime sips of water whenever possible and "holding it" whenever necessary. I don't want to have to wear Depends all my life. The pharmacist who I think's really cute and had hoped would ask me out, asked me recently if I worked with the Aged when I bought yet another case of Depends. When I told him I was a teacher, he looked at me super funny.The look in his eye pure killed any hopes I ever had of him asking me out. So, if you're that "thing that goes bump in the night, will you stop it....please?

Scaredy-Kat

Dear Scaredy- kat

First off I resent being called a thing. I must ask you if you're PISSING on yourself at night. If you are you need to stop and throw those damn Depends away. Why would the pharmacist want you? I don't want you either. I like blood not piss.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-14T13:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

What is a super sexy vamp like you planning to do on Valentine's Day?

Valentina

Dear Valentina,

Normally I wouldn't answer this question. I would just tell you that it's none of your business what I plan to do. But since you called me sexy I have decided this once to play nice.

First I have no need for mortal niceties but for some strange reason Eve gave me a wistful look. The woman just refuses to act like a proper vampire so I have decided to indulge her. I mean I am not totally unfeeling. I do love the woman.

So our plans. First I will bring a couple of bottles of my finest blood from the freezer and allow it to come to room temperature then I will lay Eve on a bed of rose petals. I will give her passion bites starting at her beautiful ear lobe and I will suckle it lavishing it with my love. Then I will move down to that spot above her shoulder and I will place gentle bites along the ridge. Well maybe not so gently. I will caress her as I move along her body sensing her flow and I will places kisses over every inch of her skin not leaving a spot untouched. I will bury my head in her most private place and I will love her like no other.

Then when we are both sated I will wake.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-14T02:00:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

I've noticed that a cross appears besides your answers. Is that a reason for it?

What's up?

Dear What's up,

As with everything that I do of course there is an answer. Whether or not I will tell you is another thing. You appear arrogant to me. I almost sense a demanding attitude, a tone that does not speak of reverence.

And there you have it. The cross is a reminder for all who enter my domain to remember who and what I am, to revere me, to respect my home. Most of all it serves as a warning. Know who I am. I am Adam Omega, Vampire! I take no crap. The cross belongs to me and I wear it proudly.

ADAM OMEGA

VAMPIRE

Dear Adam

2008-02-13T05:54:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

I've been reading your column and I wanted to leave a comment. I tried and couldn't. Is there something wrong, some glitch?

Want to comment.

Dear Want to comment,

No there is no glitch. Why should I allow mortals to comment on what I've written? MY words should be enough for you. Is it not?

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-01T08:19:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

He knows. My husband knows you visit me nightly in my dreams. I was so careful, but it became impossible to hide the satisfied smile on my face each morning when I awake or explain away the bite marks. Please, for my sake do not visit me again, release me from this spell, you've put me under. I can no longer lay in his arms while thoughts of you consume me, pretending that his touch does not repulse me.

You must release me dear Adam, for I know your cold undead heart belongs to another and will never be mine.

Dream Lover

Dear Dream Lover,

While it is true my heart does belongs to another when I lay claim to a being they remain mine. I cannot in good conscience release you but I will give you a fortnight of rest, to miss me. to beg me to return.

But the most important part of your letter refers to your husband knowing. Do you think that I Adam Omega fear him? Do you fear for your own safety? If either of these things are true then maybe it is time that I paid your husband a visit. I would have him begging me to take you and him if I wanted this. But I do not. Fear not My Dream Lover, all is well. Call for me when your need crests.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-02-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam.

2. What's up with men and oral sex.

Why do men rather eat then to serve up the good stick? And just in case you are wondering. I love head just as much as the next woman but I love the ride more.

Missing the stick

Dear Missing the stick.

The question you ask has a simply answer. It's not that the male doesn't want to give up the good stick as you put it but rather about the male. We are my dear selfish creatures by nature. Having a female perform fellatio on us, or oral sex as you will, satisfy many needs for the male. First off: It gives us control over the giver, it puts the female in a position of servitude and we rather like that. But the main reason is that we need pay no heed to the attention of the female body that is servicing us as she gives us pleasure in this manner. It is all about us. And I'm not sorry to say that is the way we like it. None of this cuddling nonsense or waiting for the woman to reach the peak. No this is all about us, our needs, what we want. That's it. I told you it was simple. We males prefer oral sex because it satisfy our selfish nature. We can take and take and not worry about giving anything in return. There is no bonding, no emotional ties. WE simply accept that which you give. If you do not like giving or receiving this then my advice would be not to participate in it.

There is a difference in having this done by a person that you are not only intimately involved with but emotionally involves with as well. Then the act of giving or receiving becomes one of the most intense pleasures. To taste your lover on your tongue, to make her juices flow, or his, is the pentacle of love. if you love the person that you're with and they love you the act will be both satisfying and meaningful. If not it will be what it is most of the times. A way for one to reach sexual pleasure without giving of one's soul. I indulge often but only with Eve does it have any true meaning.

Now as to men who'd rather eat, I'd say it's either of two things: pure laziness on the part of the male to satisfy a woman who might take a long time to achieve satisfaction. Or the male does not really want to pleasure the woman he's with so he does what will achieve the goal at a faster pace. If you want the stick, then my advice would be to caress your partner with your fingers, hold him between your thighs and his erection should move of it's own accord to the desired location. Then you will have THE STICK!

And, Missing The Stick, if you follow my advice and find yourself in need of more, please contact me again. Vampires are known for giving, 'THE STICK,' and for our endurance. I have many under my command who will gladly give you what you need.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-31T13:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

1.How do you feel about meeting a woman, whom you really like and want to get to know better but you find out that she has 3 kids already.

Single Mom,

Dear Single Mom

Motherhood is one of the greatest blessing. Were you aware that the blood of a mother tastes sweeter by far than that of a woman who has never given birth? Were I the male in question I would worship and adore you. If you were with any that I command the same would hold true. Fret not Dear Single Mom, for you are one of the jewels in the breastplate of the priest. Good things will be showered upon you if you do not falter. Fear not. If the living does not appreciate you the undead will.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-31T02:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

It is rumored that you have quite a sweet tooth. In fact, it is said that you have a gluttonous appetite for Little Debbie snack cakes. Which cake is your favorite? There's so many to choose from. I don't know how you could ever choose just one!

Munchkin

Dear Munchkin,

Umm umm umm. You make me salivate just thinking of which little Debbie Snack cakes are my favorites. I do believe you've asked me a question that I don't have a ready answer for. While I do indeed have a sweet tooth I've never had to choose a favorite because I have no dental problems, of if I'm being honest, no problems of any kind.

I will however investigate my appetites concerning the aforementioned cakes. I will send my mortal helper to gather them and I will test them. I do thank you for giving me something to ponder. I'm having AB- for my midmorning snack so maybe a strawberry snake cake will do nicely.

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2008-01-30T04:03:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

Bad boys are those guys, who are appealing because they are either handsome, charming, or have a bank roll and think that allows them get away with unacceptable behavior. Do you consider yourself a "bad boy" or simply a victim of circumstances that if those circumstances were different you would be as well?

Karen

Dear Karen,

As to your question: What do I consider that I am. I am Adam Omega. True I am handsome, appealing and having a humongous bankroll. I do not consider that I get away with bad behavior. I live by a code of rules that I enforce. My rules are not enforced by my looks, my appeal or my money. My rules are enforced by my authority. I am Adam. I was meant to be obeyed. What you mortals think of as a bad boy makes me laugh. Your mortal bad boys are merely children playing at something. If you don't believe me introduce one of them to me. The smell of their fear as they look upon my face would be enough to stink up an entire city block. Trust me my dear, the mundane things you speak of are but trinkets. It is the holder of the power that invoke respect. I invoke respect.

I say all of this with the utmost sincerity. There is none who can stop me, none whom I fear. My word is law. Period. Obey and live. Defy me and...Well you get the gist of it don't you?

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2008-01-28T02:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

With the upcoming election, I was wondering what are your political views. What do you think this country needs in a President? In fact, were you running for the office of President of the United States what would you want to do to make America better?

AND....who would you want as a vice-president?

"Chad"

Dear Chad,

What an excellent question. Generally I do not sully my hands or my mind with politics, but since you asked I will answer. Your immense field of politicians have barked out for over one year now what they will do, how hard they will work for America. I have long wondered how they can make such a silly claim when they prove otherwise. Chad, you may be mortal, but since you were intelligent enough to ask this question then I can only assume you are intelligent enough to understand my answer. This pool of candidates like all candidates can not possibly be doing the jobs they were already voted in their offices to do. Why do I say this? They are on the campaign trail day and night. When do they work? And yet you mortals, the American people pay them tremendous amounts of money to allow them to go after yet another job where they will do even less work. That's dumb even for mortals.

I believe your country would greatly benefit from a candidate sitting at their desk doing the job they've been paid to do and simply stating, I'm working that's what I plan to do if you make me your president. I'm too busy to go out campaigning. You know where to find me should you need me.

If I were president I would not need a vice president. I do not work well with others. Besides, what good is a vice president? Would they replace me? HAHAHA. Surely you jest.

I would end your war overnight. Ask me how. I would appoint vampires into all seats of power. I would scrap Air force 1 and 2. I have no need of planes. I would eliminate life long pensions from the mortal bloodsuckers who have not earned such a thing. I would not turn all of America into vampires. I daresay there are enough already but I would infuse my blood into your citizens and make them stronger, better able to resist disease.

Lastly I would take all of your politicians and create a place for them where they would be fed and well cared for ( in a manner of speaking) and they could bore the hell out of each other. They would not be allowed near anything that contained money. I won't say most have sticky fingers, I'm just saying I will prevent the threat.

I will dispatch squads of my choosing to take care of your gang and drug problems that suck the life and hope out of your country. Let's see what happens when they're face with For REAL Blood Suckers.

I want to thank you Chad for getting my blood flowing this morning. You have stirred controversy in my heart. I beleive I will see if there is yet time for me to cast my hat into the ring. Can I count on your vote? What the hell. I can just put the entire country under on election day and take the election. I've heard it's been stolen before.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-24T13:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

How does a powerful vampire spend his day?

Curious

Dear Curious,

Have you ever heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat? It's true. It's also true that curiosity kills the curious.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-24T13:27:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

Is Eve aware that you're online threatening those who dare to ask you questions that you don't want to answer with promises that you will drain them dry...and making them like it? I've got the feeling that she wouldn't be to happy with your treatment of everyday mortals.

Tattle-tale

Dear Tattle-tale

Let me assure you. Though Eve is the love of my life, she does not control me. I will admit there are many ways that Eve can persuade me. But she has not been using those methods as of late.

Now as to my issuing threats. I have never done that. What I have done is to make promises. A threat is meaningless and usually the one issuing it has no power to fulfill it. I on the other hand have much power behind my words. That my dear Tattle-tale is a promise.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-22T10:39:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

It would appear that my inept attempt at humor has incurred your wrath and I now live in fear of losing the very thing I value most, my life.

Therefore I find myself in the awkward position of groveling at your feet and ask if you could find it in your cold heart to forgive my jest and let me live yet another day.

Kid Ding

Dear Kid Ding,

I will answer you thusly. Until you learn the proper way to grovel I will leave you in fear. You seek to make sport of me, to mock me. He who laughs last will always be Adam. Sleep well mortal, for I know where you reside, I have the scent of your blood in my nostrils. You are but a heartbeat away. I urge you to use caution when dealing with me. Do not attempt your pitiful excuses for groveling unless you can do it properly.

Mortals. Why do I bother?

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

I have been wondering about vampire. I want to know how you can ingest blood from mortals and not worry about the blood type. Would you answer that for me please?

Blood Type--A-

Dear Blood Type--A-

Hmmm. You do have one of my favorite blood types. It reminds me of a Little Debbie snack cake. (Hello, Viola, my delicious little snack cake ) Back to you Blood Type A- In the infinite wisdom of the universe you could say that vampires are the ultimate receivers of blood. We do not discriminate. We love blood in all it's many varieties. But I must confess I do have my favorites. And yours top the list. Take care and keep 'OUR" blood plentiful.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam

2008-01-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Adam,

You are by far the most perfect vampire in the world. You are sexy, smart and wiser than even King Solomon. My love for you knows no bounds. But, you are in love with Eve and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't like it if you had a mistress. So, I know how bothersome you find Sullivan to be. Might I suggest that I give myself to him...for you? Perhaps that way he won't have time to flirt with Eve....Ooo...I probably shouldn't have said that. But I promise to keep him busy night and day if you hook us up.

Slave To Love

My Dear Slave to Love,

Your words please me immensely and have brought a smile to my lips. Such devotion should be rewarded and I can promise you that I have every plan to do just that. There is one little problem with your request. I do not share. If you love me as you say you now belong to me.

Sullivan is a bit more than an annoyance, that much is true. Were I not insanely jealous, and would that Sullivan bedded mortals I might be slightly tempted. but alas my Dear Slave, Sullivan would not give you a second glance. You however have my eternal gratitude and will be well rewarded. I promise.

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2008-01-11T02:16:00.000-08:00

Mr. Omega,

I dreamt of you last night. Then I could swear I felt this tiny shiver. It was almost as though I could feel you inside my body. Were you?

Annie

Dear Annie,

If I had been inside you there would have been nothing little about it, even the shiver. But not to worry, you dreamt of me. That's a good start for a mortal.

Adam Omega

Dear Adam

2008-01-07T09:53:00.001-08:00

Dear Adam,

How can I obtain immortality? I don't want to be a vampire...or drink blood...or be undead. I just want to live forever and have violet eyes. Purple's my all time favorite color and I think it would be especially cool to have eyes that were that color for real.

The Purple Princess

My Dear Purple Princess,

Surely as a mortal you've heard of this mortal invention. Two words: Pearl Vision. As for immortality it appears your vanity outweighs your wish to be immortal.

Adam Omega

Vampire

Dear Adam,

2008-01-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

I am an old woman. I long to be young. I've heard that drinking vampire blood is like having a drink from the Fountain of Youth. Is this true? Or don't you share your blood.

Victoria

Victoria,

What you believe is indeed true. A vampire's blood is the font of eternal live. One drink from this fountain and you would again be young and vibrant.But alas, you're right a second time.

I do not share my blood with any besides my wife.

Perhaps there are other things I can give you. I can give you dreams of youth, nights of passion. I can make it so that when you look in your mirror you will see the face that looked back on you from your youth. Would you like that my dear, Victoria?

ADAM OMEGA

Dear Adam:

I have a question about sex. My boyfriend wants to do it in a casket at midnight under a full moon. The trouble is he wants the casket closed, and I want it open. Which is best?

Thanks for writing "Ask Adam." I wouldn't know who else to ask. Can you help us?

Emily

Emily,

My dear what games are you playing with your lover? I do not brag. There is no need. I am Adam Omega and I am without a doubt A GREAT LOVER!! That said, I would never make love to a woman in a coffin, closed or otherwise. What nonsense. A woman's body should be laid on a bed of pure silk. And I don't mean that crap that undertakers tell the family the coffins are covered in.

No I mean real silk. A woman should feel free when making love. How could you when you're enclosed in a tiny container. You need room to allow your legs to wrap around your lover's body, for him to travel up and down yours pausing at his leisure to place kisses on your satin flesh, to nibble you and make you scream with the wanting, to touch you and make you...

Are you with me? If your lover can't find such accommodations for you allow me to show you the way to heaven. Eve has no objections to such mattings.

ADAM OMEGA

Dear Adam,

I really need your help. Someone is stalking me. At night whenever I look out my window, I see him in the shadows of the streetlights. He's always looking up toward me. What will he do next, and will I enjoy it?

Loveless in Seattle

Dear Loveless in Seattle,

I can see all things when I chose to. With you I decided that it was necessary. The man who stalks you will not do pleasant things to you. If you wish to feel perverted pleasure from being stalked then lets do this in a safe manner.

Tonight at precisely 10 P.M I want you to go to your bedroom window and disrobe. I want you to play the song, "Come to me" by Adam and then wait.

You will feel shivers chase across your flesh. You will feel my breath hot against your throat and you will wonder. You will be afraid as you should be. But tomorrow you wil yet live.

ADAM OMEGA

Dear Adam,

I want a baby vampire. Do you know of any sperm bank where I can get one?

Thank you.

Joan

My Dear Sweet Delusional Joan,

If a baby is what you desire you may as well have a human one. They will both suck the life blood from you.

ADAM OMEGA

Dear wonderful Adam,

I love you. How can I get a date with you? You are my ideal man. So strong...handsome...and yummy. I can be "yummy" too. Try a bite.

Love, Rose

Rose,

You're my kind of woman. Thank you for the invitation. I will accept. And might I add you have exquisite taste. I am indeed the idea man and should be immolated. You have chosen wisely. I will take that bite sooner than you think.

ADAM OMEGA

Dear Adam,

You have been around for so long, and I know you have seen all the great lovers throughout the centuries, but I think I have the greatest love story of all.

Vector loves me more than life. He told me that if I were dead and bloodless he would love me even more. Such devotion! He loves to nip at my neck just to have a tiny sip of my blood. Clearly no man has ever loved a woman more. Do you agree?

My question is will I need a transfusion soon?

Scarlett

Scarlett, Darling,

Your lover has a problem. Dead is dead. He may well love you more but remember this. You won't know it for you will no longer be alive.

You will not need a transfusion you will need a coffin.

ADAM OMEGA

Dear Adam,

If I could only meet my ideal lover, which is you, I'd be happy. I know that's not possible because you love Eve so much.

However, my girlfriend told me that if I go to the cemetery late at night, I might meet a man like you. She told me to wear a black cloak and hold up a "steak," so he'd know I had no bad intentions toward him.

Is she teasing me? She swears she isn't.

Just wondering and hoping.

Dear Just Wondering,

Your girlfriend is partially correct. But you will also need a bottle of wine, baked potatoes and a salad. Then a nice cozy bed would be an added bonus.

ADAM OMEGA